10/14

Today has been wonderful. We did a "Hands of Peace" activity all day where we learned strategies to be more active listeners, to resolve conflicts, and open up to one another without judgment. It was as cheesy as one would expect, but I got to learn about my teammates and let them into my world a bit as well. I had one-on-one sessions with people in my group where they shared about their favorite activity, what they loved most about themselves, or a problem they were experiencing. I just had to sit there and listen. I realized how infrequently people actually listen to each other. We are always waiting for what we want to say next, we always want to relate everything to ourselves. When I directed my attention away from what I wanted to say or how I thought I should respond, I became more present and could see the other person more clearly. I was reminded how beautiful people are. I realized I need to pay attention a little bit more, because beauty like that is easy to miss.

My team leader made me nervous about the whole activity last night, by telling me that it would be incredibly uncomfortable and everybody would be emotionally exhausted afterwards and we wouldn't want to see anybody on our team for the rest of the night because of how intensely personal everything would get. I didn't feel this way at all, though. Things got a little personal at times, but if anything it made me feel more comfortable and connected with the people around me. It felt like a release. I was able to express myself freely and confidently to a large group of strangers, something that I surprised myself with. I took initiative in activities, and reminded myself that I actually really enjoy being a leader even though I convince myself my default setting in a group is follower. This is yet another way I surprised myself today, and an excellent example of how our thoughts do not always reflect the truth. One of my favorite things about this whole existing thing in general is when I surprise myself. I think it is when I explore and accept these surprises, rather than writing them off as an anomaly in my personality, that I invite change. Anyway, today's surprises and endeavors have blessed me with a sense of peace that I haven't embraced since I've gotten here. It's awesome and wonderful and I'm happy in this moment.

Tonight, we're all going out to dinner at a local Thai place. Tomorrow, we're going into San Francisco which I'm super excited about. More to follow on these adventures!!!!


~V

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