12.20

JOSHUA TREE. JOSHUA FUCKING TREE CAPTURED MY HEART AND SOUL YESTERDAY. We left Phoenix, Arizona at around 6 and I watched a beautiful sunrise from the van window and felt lucky to be alive. There is such a lot of world to see and I'm out here seeing it. Man oh man. Anyway, we drove all morning and ended up at Joshua tree at around noon. We stopped at the visitor center. I decided to trail off behind it and walk a bit, into the desert, until I had the sense I was alone with my surroundings. It was a level of quiet I have never experienced in a natural environment. I heard absolutely nothing and was in the middle of this tremendously infinite landscape. There is an entire world within Joshua Tree and it is silent, the entire ecosystem is perfectly intertwined and complex yet appears still and unwavering. This stillness was an inexplicably emotional experience for me. I could have stood there forever, and maybe would have until Ian tapped my shoulder and reminded me I shouldn't wander off alone in the desert because I could shrivel up and die, get eaten by a dingo, be strangled by a snake, etc.

We continued driving through the park, stopping to walk through cactus fields and to climb on elaborate, humongous sandy rock structures. I climbed up "skull rock" barefoot, with my childhood self in the driver's seat not thinking about how I would get down. I then spent about five minutes hanging off the side of the rock screaming for Wynn to help me because my feet had absolutely no traction and the drop was a little too high for comfort. Wynn was tied up at the top of another tall rock, so I gave up and allowed myself to slip off the rock with reckless abandon. I landed on all fours and scraped myself up a bit and it hurt but it was also awesome. All of our hearts were soaring as we ran around the labyrinth of boulders, sun beaming on our faces. Everyone was glowing, I could see the joy as if it was written in large print on their foreheads. Beautiful.

After Joshua tree, we stopped at a little Mexican place right outside the park. I had a delicious burrito, and I mean delicious, like my eyes widened when I took the first bite. I enjoyed this delectable burrito in the backseat of the van. This is the most prized seat in the vehicle, because you have room to stretch your legs out and don't have to sit next to anybody. I watched the sun set over the California mountains and thought to myself if I died right then it would be okay because my life was perfect in that moment and I was really alive. I'm really alive! AHHHHH!!!!!

Sacramento, here I come, right back where I started from!
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