2.25
It's 9:14 pm and I'm sitting in a run-down laundromat listening to change clatter and old dryers whir. My body is exhausted, my mind even more exhausted. We stayed out late last night to enjoy a last hoorah on Fremont before moving to a different part of town.
I had a weird spiritual revelation last night while walking back at 2 am through the streets, perpetually fluorescent and bubbling with life. I thought about souls and how I think they are more connected than I allow myself to believe. How there is this feeling that comes over me every now and than assures me life is more than just coincidence. Roy was talking to me about how he feels like I only put my faith into the things I can see. It's true, I like science and concreteness and practicality. It scares me to put my hopes into what is not guaranteed, why not just appreciate what I can see, what's right in front of me?
Slowly I think this view is starting to change, and I'm realizing there is far more out there than I can even begin to understand. The intricacy and fullness of human existence cannot be confined to scientific explanation. There is still the monolithic realm of the inexplicable, the subjective experiences of love and heartbreak and fear and sadness and beauty that carry us through our days.
How is it that you can meet some people and feel that you have known them your entire life? What could explain the way the universe can seem to perfectly align, or the moments that are filled with indescribable light.
I don't know. All I know is my mind is becoming far more open in the realm of spirituality as I actually begin to accept the magnitude of what I do not know. While this is scary, it's also beautiful and exciting. Trust is knocking on my door, blind faith may be creeping up on me. Although isn't that what love is, at least part of it? Blind faith? Trusting in an eternity that is not promised?
Maybe I've had it inside me all along, calling for me quietly, nudging me to let go and trust no matter how difficult it is. And that's what I'll try to do.
I had a weird spiritual revelation last night while walking back at 2 am through the streets, perpetually fluorescent and bubbling with life. I thought about souls and how I think they are more connected than I allow myself to believe. How there is this feeling that comes over me every now and than assures me life is more than just coincidence. Roy was talking to me about how he feels like I only put my faith into the things I can see. It's true, I like science and concreteness and practicality. It scares me to put my hopes into what is not guaranteed, why not just appreciate what I can see, what's right in front of me?
Slowly I think this view is starting to change, and I'm realizing there is far more out there than I can even begin to understand. The intricacy and fullness of human existence cannot be confined to scientific explanation. There is still the monolithic realm of the inexplicable, the subjective experiences of love and heartbreak and fear and sadness and beauty that carry us through our days.
How is it that you can meet some people and feel that you have known them your entire life? What could explain the way the universe can seem to perfectly align, or the moments that are filled with indescribable light.
I don't know. All I know is my mind is becoming far more open in the realm of spirituality as I actually begin to accept the magnitude of what I do not know. While this is scary, it's also beautiful and exciting. Trust is knocking on my door, blind faith may be creeping up on me. Although isn't that what love is, at least part of it? Blind faith? Trusting in an eternity that is not promised?
Maybe I've had it inside me all along, calling for me quietly, nudging me to let go and trust no matter how difficult it is. And that's what I'll try to do.
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