Twenty~Five

We went to the Hoover Dam today, what a friggin cool place. The enormity of it was overwhelming in an exhilarating way.  Immediately after, Matt dropped some of us off at Fremont street to party for a few hours with Jasmine's friends from home. I put exactly one dollar into the "I Dream of Jeannie" slot machine because Alexis's and my running joke that we are genies and constantly try to grant everyone wishes. Everyone kissed my dollar, and we waited eagerly as the buttons flashed and pictures spun. I won a whopping 8 DOLLARS! We got so excited and started jumping around and everyone in the casino thought I won big time and kept asking me questions that were embarrassing to respond to, leading to convos like "So, how much did you win?" "Uhhhhhh..... 8 dollars!. but it's exciting because I only make 12$ a day?" ".... oh, that's..... nice." At about 8:30, Mike called us and told us we needed to move out of boys and girls club immedi...

I'm remembering that being who I am is inescapable so I might as well embrace it. As my fav poet Buddy Wakefield always says, "The only person you're ever going to be, and I know it, thank God, is you." We finished up renovating the homeless shelter and moving everything into it today. It looked surprisingly incredible. A homeless woman shared how grateful she was for us fixing up the place and nearly brought tears to my eyes. She said she wanted to show us off to her daughter, she told us how we were directly helping her improve her life and get back on her feet. Hearing the simple yet profound impact we made on her life was beautiful and I felt lucky to have contributed to that. The rest of the day was a bit less sentimental, but good nonetheless. While cleaning up empty lots, I found a used condom and almost stepped on a dead cat. We have a little game where the grosser the things we find, the better. So, I was doing pretty well for myself. A little girl in t...

Last night, I stood outside alone as rain drizzled from the sky, creating little puddles of glimmering water on the pavement. It only rains 6 days out of the entire year here, so I felt a bit wonderstruck, like I was in the midst of a mini-miracle.  I watched four planes take off from the Las Vegas airport, way in the distance, ascending into a horizon of palm tree silhouettes and a smoky gray sky.  I stood in that rain until my sweatshirt was soaked, feeling the droplets of water trickle down my face, feeling everything. In this moment, the present (whom I've shamefully been avoiding), snuck up and reminded me it's okay to let go. It was like the clouds in the sky could speak to me, telling me to learn an important lesson from them. They float freely and change effortlessly and release the rain when they need to, bringing life and making the world beautiful. They don't hold onto anything they don't need to. They don't cling.  I'm trying to learn from you, cloud...

It's 11:32 pm on Friday night and I'm completely restless. It could be because Keeley and I just spent an hour laying on  the floor improvising storylines for the faces we drew on our bellies and laughing so much it actually hurt. There are few things in this life I love more than laughing until it hurts. I guess I'll flash back to yesterday, where we spent the day on the "real" Vegas strip, wandering through boujee stores and spending too much money on fancy drinks. It was one of the rare times almost all of the group went out together, and by the end of the night we all agreed it was also one of the most fun times we've had while here. Keeley fake proposed to me and we got a crowd of strangers to cheer for us. We all slow danced while a street performer played "Perfect," and that it was. Roy, Jon and I snuck away from the group and ran into a club so we could dance for precisely one song, just enough time that our absence would not be noticed. We...

It's 9:14 pm and I'm sitting in a run-down laundromat listening to change clatter and old dryers whir. My body is exhausted, my mind even more exhausted. We stayed out late last night to enjoy a last hoorah on Fremont before moving to a different part of town. I had a weird spiritual revelation last night while walking back at 2 am through the streets, perpetually fluorescent and bubbling with life. I thought about souls and how I think they are more connected than I allow myself to believe. How there is this feeling that comes over me every now and than assures me life is more than just coincidence. Roy was talking to me about how he feels like I only put my faith into the things I can see. It's true, I like science and concreteness and practicality. It scares me to put my hopes into what is not guaranteed, why not just appreciate what I can see, what's right in front of me? Slowly I think this view is starting to change, and I'm realizing there is far more out...

It's a bit difficult trying to pick up where I left this blog, it seems impossible to sum everything up. I've been meaning to write but haven't been able to bring myself to, not sure why. I'm in a bit of a lull. But here I am, trying, that's what counts right? Work is definitely slower than it was in Florida, and it seems like we've been doing everything under the sun and nothing at the same time. These past few days, it's been freezing for Vegas and we've worked at the Mayor's Cup Soccer Tournament, picking up trash from 11 am til 8 pm. People keep thinking we're in trouble with the law because of what we're doing, so we made up ex-convict alter egos. My name is Viker, Jasmine is Jailee, keeley is KeKe and Alexis is now Rexi. We've been laughing a lot and for now, life is simple. We're moving out of the Veteran's village soon. The bed bugs and cockroaches are still very present despite the endless bombings of our rooms by the l...

The suns light painted over the mountains at the end of day, picking and choosing where to place its last rays. I see a man, standing in front of these mountains with his arms wide open as his girlfriend takes a picture of him. He's smiling, as if he is seeing the expansiveness of the universe and is holding it in his hands. You would think holding this, the entire universe, in your hands, would get heavy. If that were true, god would be very tired all the time and perhaps that man wouldn't be smiling. Maybe a better word for holding in this context is embracing, you never really get tired of embracing. Usually, embraces are mutual and loving and make you lighter. I feel like that smiling man feels today, or at least like I imagine him feeling as he embraces the world. I felt the sun on my face and the coffee on my tongue. I saw time with no constraints and no ceilings and no floors or endings. I'm not afraid that the sun is disappearing behind the mountains and soon I ...