2017
A new year is upon us. As you may know, I'm nearly incapable of handling the passage of time, though I have to. So another year is gone and I'll keep it locked in my heart.
2017 was one of the best years I've yet to have. I am at a loss of words at the sheer beauty it brought me. And the knowledge, and the pain. I screwed up more times than I can count this year, I really did. It seems there were millions of times I was telling myself I would learn from my mistakes, then I went and made them again. I had to apologize to others a few more times than I would have liked to. But I guess the point of life is to make mistakes, and through them I have learned about forgiveness and how incredible of a thing it is. I could dwell on the mistakes, as I have a thousand times, but what's done is done and we're all human. At the end of the day maybe it's not about our mistakes but rather our triumphs. 2017 was a year of tiny triumphs.
2017 started out with a terrible haircut and frigid cold ski days, nothing being better than those moments of precious solitude on the mountain. The first few months were characterized by my senior seminar class, where Kyle and I worked tirelessly nonstop to create presentations about ALS. I remember the sense of pride I felt when I discovered I wasn't the terrible public speaker I thought I was, and that I could actually engage an audience for 40 minutes at a time while talking about ridiculously scientific stuff. It's cheesy but my confidence in myself grew tremendously in that class, and I made some great friendships in the process. In March, I went on a vacation made of dreams in St. Croix with my mom and brother, where we lived the goooood life and Sean and I bonded more than we ever have. April was my terrible concussion, which changed my life a little bit. I learned everything we think we have, all the beautiful abilities we take for granted, could be taken away from us at any given second. I think that was the first time I realized, on a very personal level, that love matters far more than anything else. I fell completely in love with my life after feeling the magnitude of its fragility. Though this was perhaps on a small scale, and far worse things happen to people all the time, it was still a huge turning point for me. It woke me up.
Then, there was May. I don't have words to describe May, just thinking about it brings tears to my eyes. May was my last month in Burlington, and it was heaven on earth. Love poured out of every moment. And then, it was time for me to leave, so I left, and my heart broke. Once I got home after graduation, I went straight to Cali with Kerry and Bennis. We had the time of our lives. I'll never forget our adventures, Keith Urban and the thrilling feeling of being on the West Coast. I think a part of me knew I had to be there all along (and here I am! Would ya look at that). Then there was my last summer at Kanawauke, which was filled with even more heartbreaking beauty. I didn't know how it was possible to feel that much love for a place, but I did. It's been one of the biggest blessings of my life and I don't know I got so lucky as to work there. And then, one day, it was time to leave that chapter of my life behind, too.
Now, I'm in Americorps and I'm doing something I never thought I'd be brave enough to do. I got to spend the fall traveling around the country, seeing the United States, which has always been a dream of mine. I got to meet some really incredible people that have become like another family to me. And after all that, I still got to go home for Christmas break and see my family and best friends. I went to Vermont for New Years and cried my eyes out with my friends about how much we love each other. About how grateful we were to be together, even if just for a short time. I got closure on a situation that has been in the back of my mind for far too long, and now I can finally let go. I'm sitting here reflecting on this year of my life, just one year out of (hopefully) many, and I'm baffled by how lucky I feel. Here I am, living a simple, normal life, but I feel like the luckiest person on the earth and that's incredible to me. Just when I can't believe how much wonder this universe is filled with, it throws me more. It's not about the big things at all. It's about the tiny little moments that call for you, if you're paying attention.
2017 was one of the best years I've yet to have. I am at a loss of words at the sheer beauty it brought me. And the knowledge, and the pain. I screwed up more times than I can count this year, I really did. It seems there were millions of times I was telling myself I would learn from my mistakes, then I went and made them again. I had to apologize to others a few more times than I would have liked to. But I guess the point of life is to make mistakes, and through them I have learned about forgiveness and how incredible of a thing it is. I could dwell on the mistakes, as I have a thousand times, but what's done is done and we're all human. At the end of the day maybe it's not about our mistakes but rather our triumphs. 2017 was a year of tiny triumphs.
2017 started out with a terrible haircut and frigid cold ski days, nothing being better than those moments of precious solitude on the mountain. The first few months were characterized by my senior seminar class, where Kyle and I worked tirelessly nonstop to create presentations about ALS. I remember the sense of pride I felt when I discovered I wasn't the terrible public speaker I thought I was, and that I could actually engage an audience for 40 minutes at a time while talking about ridiculously scientific stuff. It's cheesy but my confidence in myself grew tremendously in that class, and I made some great friendships in the process. In March, I went on a vacation made of dreams in St. Croix with my mom and brother, where we lived the goooood life and Sean and I bonded more than we ever have. April was my terrible concussion, which changed my life a little bit. I learned everything we think we have, all the beautiful abilities we take for granted, could be taken away from us at any given second. I think that was the first time I realized, on a very personal level, that love matters far more than anything else. I fell completely in love with my life after feeling the magnitude of its fragility. Though this was perhaps on a small scale, and far worse things happen to people all the time, it was still a huge turning point for me. It woke me up.
Then, there was May. I don't have words to describe May, just thinking about it brings tears to my eyes. May was my last month in Burlington, and it was heaven on earth. Love poured out of every moment. And then, it was time for me to leave, so I left, and my heart broke. Once I got home after graduation, I went straight to Cali with Kerry and Bennis. We had the time of our lives. I'll never forget our adventures, Keith Urban and the thrilling feeling of being on the West Coast. I think a part of me knew I had to be there all along (and here I am! Would ya look at that). Then there was my last summer at Kanawauke, which was filled with even more heartbreaking beauty. I didn't know how it was possible to feel that much love for a place, but I did. It's been one of the biggest blessings of my life and I don't know I got so lucky as to work there. And then, one day, it was time to leave that chapter of my life behind, too.
Now, I'm in Americorps and I'm doing something I never thought I'd be brave enough to do. I got to spend the fall traveling around the country, seeing the United States, which has always been a dream of mine. I got to meet some really incredible people that have become like another family to me. And after all that, I still got to go home for Christmas break and see my family and best friends. I went to Vermont for New Years and cried my eyes out with my friends about how much we love each other. About how grateful we were to be together, even if just for a short time. I got closure on a situation that has been in the back of my mind for far too long, and now I can finally let go. I'm sitting here reflecting on this year of my life, just one year out of (hopefully) many, and I'm baffled by how lucky I feel. Here I am, living a simple, normal life, but I feel like the luckiest person on the earth and that's incredible to me. Just when I can't believe how much wonder this universe is filled with, it throws me more. It's not about the big things at all. It's about the tiny little moments that call for you, if you're paying attention.
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