Twenty~Five

We made it to Vegas yesterday at around noon and I've loved every moment since. The veteran's village we're staying in is modest, to say the least, but beats living on cots by a landslide. We have beds and doors that lock and laundry in our building. Jasmine, Keeley and I are sharing a room with two beds, that we spent most of the day yesterday decorating/unpacking/making feel like a home.  Being able to actually unpack all my things without fear of having to move in a day is a wonderful feeling. I don't have to live out of my red bag anymore, I can actually settle in somewhere and make it comfortable, and this small sense of stability brings me great comfort. Jasmine covered our fridge in pictures of our adventures and we filled our shelves with books. There was a minor setback later on in the day, when I rolled around on the floor and stretched for a while and got bitten by bed bugs... but this issue was semi-addressed.... As in Rohan and I killed the ones we saw on t...

I'e  been experiencing a weird wave of anxiety/depression since I've gotten back to campus. My toxic thoughts have been off the charts and I've just been trying to stay afloat and keep them at bay to get through the day. They warned us that coming back from disaster relief could send us into this state and that it could take a while to adjust to it. I always thought myself to be somewhat resilient towards changing circumstances. I always think my "positive" mood is infallible. That is, until I start to feel bad, then I can barely stand it and my entire sense of self gets thrown off. Currently, there are things and people on my mind that I can't let go of, that I have to let go of, there's a present moment to pay attention to that I haven't been paying enough attention to. I'm learning there are always more things to learn about myself. The most important thing is that I must be patient. This morning I feel very good. Like I'm starting to retu...

A new year is upon us. As you may know, I'm nearly incapable of handling the passage of time, though I have to. So another year is gone and I'll keep it locked in my heart. 2017 was one of the best years I've yet to have. I am at a loss of words at the sheer beauty it brought me. And the knowledge, and the pain. I screwed up more times than I can count this year, I really did. It seems there were millions of times I was telling myself I would learn from my mistakes, then I went and made them again. I had to apologize to others a few more times than I would have liked to. But I guess the point of life is to make mistakes, and through them I have learned about forgiveness and how incredible of a thing it is. I could dwell on the mistakes, as I have a thousand times, but what's done is done and we're all human. At the end of the day maybe it's not about our mistakes but rather our triumphs. 2017 was a year of tiny triumphs. 2017 started out with a terrible hair...